Hiraeth

"The Welsh word hiraeth has no equivalent in English. It often translates as “homesickness,” but the actual concept is far more complex. It incorporates an aspect of impossibility: the pining for a home, a person, a figure, even a national history that may never have actually existed. To feel hiraeth is to experience a deep sense of incompleteness tinged with longing."

an old piece found again

My optimism broke.
There’s a vague memory here in my hand
of feeling it give way under my feet,
cracking and snapping
shooting into a lovely scatter pattern
that I didn't even appreciate.
Not even enough to remember where
it splayed out on the path
and into the grass.